Figuring Out Preteen’s Mind!
Do you remember those days when you were in your preadolescence, those hormonal roller coaster going all emotional and cranky at the same time? Fortunately or unfortunately we all have experienced that pre-teen period and we all had done our share of mistakes; cute little mistakes but sometimes the situation can be worse with lack of proper guiding and a gap between parent-child communications; and these lacunae should be filled up with wits, love, patience and care.
Typically when our notorious and cute little children reach the age of nine and twelve who were once so willing to climb into our laps and share their secrets that how he ate the jam from refrigerator suddenly want little or nothing to do with us. A child in preadolescence is not the same person he was just a year or two ago. He has changed— both physically, cognitively, emotionally, and socially. He develops to enjoy new found independence ( even the freedom fighters wouldn’t have got that much excitement after India’s independence). All they want to do is to see how far he can push limits and boundaries set by parents.
But that preteen mind doesn’t know that he needs you besides to dodge the hurricane of adolescence. However, that isn’t an easy task because you need to ensure that you as a parent respect your child’s need for greater autonomy in order to forge a successful relationship with this “upgraded” version of your kid.
According to experts of child mind institute, to prevent the bridge between you and your kid from falling down, you need to pad up the communication gap and for that, you need to follow few steps:
Don’t take a Preteen’s withdrawal as rejection.
Kids after getting their new found independence it is obvious from the kids of this age to behave callously with their parents and relying more and more on friends.
Take time out from your busy schedule for your child.
Convincing preteens to talk and open up is a tedious stuff but establish a bond, a special period every week when you can give unadulterated attention.
Always opt for an indirect approach to converse with a preteen.
The time has gone when they were answerable to those direct questions, now it doesn’t work. They feel it is an invasion of their personal space. And it can turn things upside down.
Keep your judgmental mind in the backseat when dealing with a preteen.
Being judgmental can never mend the scratches of puberty of your child.
Start conversing about sex and drugs with your Preteen.
Sex is a taboo in our society but our children live in a world where they got exposed to sexual languages, images, sexual changes in their body; all these make them curious and it is your duty to extinguish this fuel of curiosity, keeping aside what society will say or think.
As a parent, it is not easy to figure out the emotions erupting but a friendly bond can vanish the difference of age and relationship and you can help them out, answering all their queries and educate them about the undiscussed zone, which is considered taboo in our society.
We as parents of new age need to break the barrier and help our children to grow with values of life and morality.
Here is some more advice from a career coach and the founder of My big Leap, Varnika Agarwal.