disclaimer: This article is a funny take and means no offence to Christmas or St. Nicholas or feminism so just enjoy.
I wonder why I wonder why I wonder.
I wonder what would it be if Santa is not a man but a woman!
I wonder! I wonder!
I asked this question to man;
What if Santa was a woman?
Man: If Santa was a woman.
She would check if I had packed the boxes neatly and done all the festive cooking.
Request the slip and accounts of all the gifts,
check for the crumbs if any around the tree
and maybe even cut my points for a messy wrapping paper.
But then she would be way more good-looking!!
Child: If Santa was a woman, she would definitely be my mom!!
Oh my goodness!
She would give me Gold stars for taking care of my brother only to take them away for not cleaning my room.
But then who will make the cookies and cook a Christmas meal zip-zap-zoom!
Woman: If Santa was a woman then
Ho! Ho! Ho!! would be replaced by He! He! He!!
Oh, but what if she was Mrs. Kimberly, my neighbour?
She would never approve of the cookies I make for her.
Or my house not sparkly clean!
Man, Woman, Child in Chorus;
Oh..God, Oh God, Oh God…
Let Santa be a cute old man
who doesn’t care for the nitty gritties.
Would be happy with a cookie, homemade or even half-baked?
A woman Santa brings in complications
Who needs one in this world full of frustrations?
I woke up from a torrid dream of people speaking in a chorus.
No, no we don’t plan to change any tradition.
It was just a thought for experimentation
but looks like we have shaken your expectations
we wouldn’t want to bring the house down or
be the cause of a Christmas frown.
If Santa was a woman, it would be an interesting twist in the tale.
But for now, let’s go back to the Santa being a man.
“What is Santa was a woman?” is good in concept but every time we change the norms
The people seem to wail.
Changing Christmas traditions may not always be bad,
For all you know she turns out to be the best Santa you’ve ever had!!