Well, they are always told to share, respect elders even if they are being shouted at, not litter on roads which means at times they have to carry their empty Starbuck glasses from the mall all the way home, make their own beds, sleep and wake up on time, they can’t switch on the TV in the morning even on a weekend, they can’t eat in bed, can’t visit their friends homes if the friend is sick, can’t go down to play if they haven’t finished their homework even if their friends have come to pick them up, not create a mess. I remember saying No to my child for playing out in afternoon on Sundays because of the scorching heat, playing in the rains, eating Golas (lip-smacking :p) or ice-creams, et cetera. While I clearly remember myself enjoying all of these things in my childhood and they probably form the best of my memories, I wonder why I have taken the badge of a Bad Cop now.
You might wonder what’s wrong with all the things that I have listed? Nothing, they are absolutely logical ‘Nos’ but imagine if you are being breathed down your shoulders most of your day, how will your day manifest? Clearly not a positive one.
For a long time, I didn’t realize the fact that even though I am raising obedient kids, I am actually in a way affecting them psychologically which is not a good sign.
I noticed my elder one slowly starting to cornering himself. He was always a bookworm, now he started using his books as an excuse to stay away from family gatherings. I got to know what’s happening in his school through his friends, from a physically active and chirpy kid he was turning into a couch potato. I called it a phase but it didn’t go, not for one year but more. That’s when I realised I had to intervene, I changed my attitude, tried to bring in more positive reinforcements. Even if he was testing my patience I remained firm in keeping my cool and understanding his point of view. I agreed to things that I would not have otherwise. I gave him some breathing space, started showing that I trusted him and started treating him like an older kid. He was just ten but had all the warning signs of being a teenager. If he did not want to go to a certain hobby class, I let him be.
Even if my son was lying to me at times and I knew it, I told him that I trusted him and waited for him to come back. From a ‘NoMom’, I started my journey on being a ‘YesMom’. The idea was not to be likable but to win his trust. Slowly, he started changing. He now wanted to come and tell me things, he started interacting more, even if he lost his temper at me, I told him calmly, that this was no way to talk to me when I was ready to discuss calmly. After a few minutes when he calmed down he would come back and apologise for his behavior. This was a big step as he never used to apologise earlier. We started going for walks together, playing board games and spending more quality time together, beyond studies. It helped our relationship grow.
We all can relate to our kids negotiating and acting out until they get their way, but I feel sometimes we should just let them be. While we all are concerned parents, and I agree factors like pollution, weather, or cold food are definitely the areas of our concern but what we really SHOULD FOCUS on is making the child stronger from within. Instead of stopping our kids from doing various FUN things, should let them have their gala time. The need for us is to make them strong enough to fight the infections, pollution by building their immunity.
I have managed to convince him to join a training group for running and I am also making sure he improves his lifestyle and his diet so that it goes a long way in building his immunity. While the diet is an important factor, I am also giving him ActivKids Immuno Boosters to help boost his immunity. I know a lot of you must be having kids who are fussy eaters, and it thus becomes difficult to feed them with nutrient-rich food, I recommend you all try this immunity supplement because it definitely has worked on my kid. I now don’t really remember taking him to the doctor, while winters otherwise used to be the season of regular doctor’s visit for me. So yes, this is how I am joining the balanced #YesMom movement and you can too by clicking this link.